I stood at the doorway of the playroom yesterday and just stared. There were plastic dinosaurs engaging in what looked like a prehistoric riot, half-finished drawings scattered like confetti, and enough stray Lego pieces to constitute a health and safety hazard. In my before life, the one before the FND, the chronic pain, and the…
It was 10:00 am on the dot. I was sitting on my lounge, probably staring at a wall or trying to remember if I’d actually took my morning meds, when the realization hit me like a physical punch to the gut. I had an appointment.…
Some days, the idea of living a meaningful life with chronic illness feels like a sick joke. On the days when your bones feel like lead, your brain is a fog of static, and the simple act of breathing feels like a marathon, meaning is…
It’s the most exhausting game of pretend you never asked to play. You’re standing in the middle of a grocery aisle, or maybe at a family BBQ, and on the outside, you look “fine”. You’ve brushed your hair, you’re standing upright, and you might even…
There is a specific kind of silence that happens when you’re chronically ill but look “fine.” It’s the silence of people watching you struggle and deciding you’re just lazy. It’s the sharp, jagged edge of a family member calling you “useless” because you can’t make…
You are staring at a to-do list that feels like a personal attack. Your joints ache, your brain is a thick fog machine, and the guilt is screaming that you aren’t “doing enough.” This is the chronic illness cycle we know all too well: push…
I spent most of my life wondering if I was losing my mind. Not in the dramatic, cinematic way. In the quiet, insidious way that happens when every doctor you see tells you there’s nothing wrong, while your body is literally falling apart. When you…
Spoonie goal setting can feel damn near impossible when you’re three days into a flare and can barely manage a shower. January arrives every year with the same bloody energy, New Year, New Me, and if you’re chronically ill, neurodivergent, or just burnt out from…
A gentle note before we begin: This post is raw and honest. We’re talking about the darkest days of chronic illness, including thoughts of wanting to give up and unhealthy relationship dynamics. If you aren’t in a place to read this right now, that is…