You know that feeling when you leave a doctor’s office feeling smaller, more confused, and somehow less sure about your own body than when you walked in after yet another round of medical gaslighting examples playing out in real time? When you’re convinced something’s wrong, but the person in the white coat just made you feel like you’re overreacting, imagining things, or just too sensitive?
I’ve been there more times than I can count. I’ve lived through medical gaslighting again and again, sitting in sterile rooms, being talked over, and walking out questioning my own reality.
And I don’t mean once.
I mean childhood gut and joint pain brushed off as “growing pains” and being told to drink more water.
I mean being 13, grieving deaths in my family, and getting labelled anorexic when I didn’t meet the criteria, told I was “acting out”, put on antidepressants, and dismissed so hard it helped push me into a suicide attempt. That part still hurts to write. But it matters.
I mean my 20s, vet nursing, running on fumes, then tearing cartilage off my rib cage just reaching for a kit or even sneezing…only to be told it was probably because I “needed to exercise more”.
I mean my 30s, having to self-diagnose Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS) through Google after years of being brushed off, then having a doctor refuse testing because it was “rare”…and being proven wrong.
I mean more recently being dismissed during POTS testing, treated like I was having a panic attack, until I finally got diagnosed with FND at 42 by a neurologist who actually listened.
So when you’re sitting there thinking, Am I imagining this?…I get it. Deeply. And I want you to know this: if this is happening to you, you’re not alone.
That’s not you being dramatic. That’s medical gaslighting, and recognising medical gaslighting examples is the first step toward getting the care you actually deserve.
Medical gaslighting happens when healthcare providers dismiss, minimise, or outright disbelieve your symptoms, leaving you questioning whether what you’re experiencing is even real. It’s especially common if you’re living with chronic illness, neurodivergence, or complex trauma symptoms that don’t fit neatly into a textbook diagnosis. And here’s what nobody tells you: it’s not just frustrating. It’s a form of trauma.
If you’ve ever been told “it’s all in your head,” had your pain rated lower than what you know it is, or been sent home without answers when your gut screamed that something was wrong, this post is for you. Let’s talk about the most common medical gaslighting examples, why they happen, and how to protect yourself when you’re already feeling vulnerable.
What is Medical Gaslighting?
Medical gaslighting is when a healthcare provider invalidates your symptoms or health concerns, often attributing them to anxiety, stress, weight, or hormones without proper investigation. If you want a clear mainstream breakdown, the Cleveland Clinic explains it well here: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/are-you-experiencing-medical-gaslighting. It’s one of the signs of medical gaslighting chronic illness warriors know far too well, because when your condition is invisible or poorly understood, it’s easier for doctors to doubt you.
This isn’t about doctors making honest mistakes. It’s about a pattern of dismissal that leaves you second-guessing your own reality. And it disproportionately affects women, people of colour, disabled people, and anyone with a history of mental health struggles.
You’re not imagining it. You’re not being difficult. And your body is not lying to you.
The Gaslighter’s Dictionary (The Phrases That Mess With Your Head)
If you’ve ever walked out of an appointment replaying the conversation and thinking Wait…did that really just happen?, these are some of the lines that get used to shut you down.
Here are a few from my own life (and from the lives of so many chronically ill women I’ve spoken to):
- “It’s just growing pains.”
- “It’s all in your head.”
- “It’s just anxiety.”
- “You just want attention.”
- “Stop trying to find excuses for how you act.”
- “You need to exercise / drink more water.”
- “You are thin because you are anorexic.”
- “I doubt you are in as much pain as you say you are.”
- “It’s rare, you would never have it.”
- “You need to work on your stress levels.”
Some of these sound harmless on paper. In real life, they land like a slap.
Because what they’re really saying is: I don’t believe you.
7 Common Medical Gaslighting Examples (and Why They’re Harmful)
Here are the most frequent medical gaslighting examples you might encounter, and why each one is damaging, even if the doctor doesn’t realise what they’re doing.
1. “It’s All in Your Head”
This is perhaps the most recognised of all medical gaslighting examples. Your physical symptoms, pain, fatigue, dizziness, digestive issues, are dismissed as purely psychological without any testing or proper examination.
Why it’s harmful: It implies your symptoms aren’t real, that you’re unreliable, or that you’re somehow creating your own suffering. Even if anxiety is contributing to your symptoms, that doesn’t make them imaginary. Your nervous system and your body are connected, and both deserve to be taken seriously.
2. “You’re Just Stressed” or “It’s Probably Anxiety”
You’re told your migraines, chest pain, or chronic nausea are just stress or anxiety, before any diagnostic work has been done. While stress can cause physical symptoms, using it as a catch-all explanation is one of the laziest signs of medical gaslighting.
Why it’s harmful: It stops the investigation. Once “anxiety” is written in your file, it can follow you to every future appointment, making it harder to get anyone to look deeper.
3. “You’re Too Young to Have Anything Serious”
This medical gaslighting example is particularly insidious because it sounds reassuring on the surface. But dismissing symptoms based on age alone, without investigation, means conditions like endometriosis, autoimmune diseases, and even heart conditions get missed for years.
Why it’s harmful: Serious illnesses don’t check your birthdate. Delaying diagnosis because someone “looks healthy” or is under 40 can lead to long-term damage that could have been prevented.
4. “Have You Tried Losing Weight?”
No matter what you came in for, knee pain, irregular periods, headaches, fatigue, the answer is always “lose weight.” This is one of the most damaging medical gaslighting examples because it places blame on you instead of investigating the actual cause.
Why it’s harmful: Weight bias in medicine is well-documented, and it kills people. Serious conditions get missed because providers stop looking once they see your size. And even if weight is a contributing factor, that doesn’t mean your symptoms should be ignored.
5. “Your Tests Came Back Normal, So There’s Nothing Wrong”
You know something’s not right. But because standard blood work didn’t flag anything, you’re told you’re fine and sent on your way. This is a classic example of how medical gaslighting examples show up in chronic illness care, because not everything shows up on basic tests.
Why it’s harmful: “Normal” test results don’t mean you’re not suffering. They mean the test didn’t catch it. Conditions like fibromyalgia, POTS, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, and many autoimmune disorders require specific testing that most GPs don’t automatically run.
6. “You’re Not a Doctor, You Should Trust My Judgement”
When you bring research, ask questions, or advocate for a specific test, you’re shut down with a reminder that they went to medical school. This is one of the most condescending signs of medical gaslighting, and it’s designed to make you feel small.
Why it’s harmful: You are the expert on your own body. A good doctor works with you, not above you. Dismissing your input isn’t professional, it’s a power trip.
7. “It’s Probably Just Hormones” or “It’s Part of Getting Older”
Your symptoms are waved away as “just PMS,” perimenopause, or “normal ageing” without any exploration of whether something else might be happening. This medical gaslighting example is especially common for women over 35.
Why it’s harmful: Hormonal changes are real, but they’re not a dumping ground for every unexplained symptom. Using them as an excuse not to investigate is lazy medicine, and it delays real diagnoses.
The Psychological Impact: Why Medical Gaslighting is Trauma
Here’s what most people don’t talk about: medical gaslighting isn’t just frustrating. It’s traumatising.
Because it doesn’t only attack your health. It attacks your trust in yourself.
When this has been happening since you were a kid, it rewires you. You start living with this constant background hum of self-questioning:
Am I making it up? Am I exaggerating? Am I just weak?
And you learn some survival habits that look “fine” from the outside, but cost you everything on the inside:
- You push yourself to be productive so you’ll be accepted (because being unwell feels like a “moral failure”).
- You mask. For years. Smiling, nodding, acting capable, even when your body is screaming.
- You doubt your own symptoms, especially when you have an invisible illness and some days are “okay” and others are absolutely not.
For those of us with trauma histories, it can trigger old wounds around being unheard, invalidated, or blamed. And for people living with chronic illness, repeated experiences of medical gaslighting can lead to:
- Medical PTSD – anxiety around appointments, avoiding care, or dissociating during consultations
- Increased self-doubt – questioning your own symptoms, downplaying your pain, or waiting too long to seek help
- Worsening health outcomes – delayed diagnoses, untreated conditions, and preventable complications
You’re not “too sensitive” for feeling hurt. This stuff has real psychological weight.
And if your brain is now trying to go, Maybe I should just lower my expectations…maybe I’m asking too much…I get it. This is where “good enough” self-compassion can keep you steady. I wrote a gentle guide for that here: The ‘Good Enough’ Goal: A Realistic Guide to Spoonie Goal Setting.
The Turning Point (When You Start Believing Yourself Again)
For me, getting my EDS diagnosis was the first real moment of validation. Not because I wanted another label, but because it proved something I’d been trying to say for decades:
My body wasn’t lying.
And once you’ve had years of being dismissed, that validation can be life-changing. It’s also often the moment you stop trying to “be easy” and start learning how to advocate without apologising for taking up space.
How to Deal with Medical Gaslighting in the Moment
So what do you do when you’re sitting in that appointment and you can feel it happening? Here are some strategies for how to deal with medical gaslighting when your nervous system is already on high alert.
Ask Direct Questions
If your concerns are being brushed off, ask:
- “What else could be causing these symptoms?”
- “What tests can we run to rule out other conditions?”
- “If this isn’t anxiety, what would we be looking for?”
These questions force the conversation back to proper investigation.
Request Everything Be Documented (Including Refusals)
Say this: “Can you please note in my file that I’ve reported [specific symptom] and that we’ve discussed it today?”
And if a doctor refuses a test or referral you’re requesting, try this (it’s one of the biggest advocacy shifts I ever made):
“Okay. Can you please document in my notes that I requested [test/referral] today, and that you’re choosing not to order it?”
This isn’t you being difficult. It’s you creating accountability.
When providers know their decisions are being recorded, they’re often more careful. And if something gets worse later, you have a paper trail.
Bring a Support Person
If possible, bring a friend, partner, or family member to appointments. Studies show that patients who bring someone with them are taken more seriously. It’s unfair, but it’s reality: and advocating for yourself at the doctor is easier when you have backup.
Record the Appointment (If Legal)
In Australia, you’re legally allowed to record conversations you’re part of without the other person’s consent (as long as it’s not being published). Check your local laws, but if it’s allowed, hit record. You can review what was said later and catch details you might have missed when your nervous system was in fight-or-flight.
Trust Your Gut: and Get a Second Opinion
If something feels off, it probably is. You don’t need permission to see another doctor. Getting a second opinion isn’t rude, dramatic, or “doctor shopping”: it’s advocating for yourself at the doctor in the most practical way possible.
Advocating for Yourself: Practical Tips
Beyond the appointment itself, here’s how to set yourself up for better care:
- Keep a symptom diary – Note when symptoms happen, how severe they are, and any patterns. Concrete data is harder to dismiss.
- Research your symptoms – Not to self-diagnose, but to ask informed questions. Bring printouts of relevant studies if needed.
- Ask for copies of all test results – Don’t just accept “everything’s normal.” Get the actual numbers and review them yourself or with another provider.
- Know your rights – You have the right to refuse treatment, request specific tests, and change doctors at any time.
- Find a trauma-informed provider if possible – Not all doctors understand the nervous system’s role in chronic symptoms, but those trained in trauma-informed care are more likely to listen without judgement.
And if you’re feeling overwhelmed by all of this, that’s completely valid. Advocating for yourself at the doctor when you’re already unwell is exhausting. You’re allowed to feel tired. You’re allowed to need support.
You Deserve to Be Heard
Medical gaslighting examples like the ones we’ve covered aren’t rare. They’re heartbreakingly common, especially for those of us living with invisible or misunderstood conditions. But recognising the signs of medical gaslighting is the first step toward protecting yourself and finding providers who actually listen.
You’re not imagining it. You’re not overreacting. And you’re not alone in this.
If you’re walking out of appointments feeling dismissed, it’s not because you’re a difficult patient: it’s because the system isn’t designed to hold space for complex, messy, non-textbook bodies. But that doesn’t mean you stop advocating. It means you get strategic, you document everything, and you keep searching for the providers who see you as a whole person.
Your body is trying to tell you something. And you deserve a healthcare team that’s willing to listen.
If this hits you hard….
You’re exactly who I write for. You don’t have to grieve this alone.
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